Battle Arena FAQ

Here, F.A.Q stands not so much for Frequently Asked Questions as Fearfully Anticipated Questions. I'm not at all sure this section of the shrine is comprehensible, so for the sake of a clear conscience I thought I'd better give you a few explanations of things that make sense in my tumultuous mental world but may have left you blinking and going 'zuh?' There are some notes about this scattered through the fights themselves, but in this way you get some of the background and reasoning behind my decisions.

Q. Where the heck did you get an idea like this?

A. I cheerfully admit that the Battle Arena is a direct rip-off of the Senshi Battle Zone, a funny and silly site where some very odd people commentate imaginary fights between the characters of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon. Sometimes they bring in characters from other anime, or other TV shows or movies (Minako vs. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was memorable) or even the so-called real world (Tuxedo Kamen vs. Leonardo DiCaprio™). I find the crossover fights the funniest which is why all my fights are crossovers (though I don't rule out the possibility of a Dilandau/Van showdown at some point in the future).

Q. Why don't you do a fight with (insert name)?

A. I can only write fights with characters from movies/shows/books with which I am reasonably familiar; otherwise I can't think of anything to write about them. Series for which I have received suggestions but haven't seen enough of (or any of) include Trigun, Gundam Wing, and Dragonball Z. It can't hurt to make suggestions (someone thought of Harry Potter the other day, which I think would be fun to do) but I can't make any promises - and God knows it takes me a long time to put one of these things together anyway.

Q. Who are those weird girls who call the fights?

A. This is simply another bit of overcrossing. I initially planned to have the fights called by a different pair of Escaflowne characters each time, but when I tried to start doing this it wasn't much fun. So I turned to two of my favourite anime characters ever, Arisa and Kyoko, the Office Ladies From Hell. They feature in the OAV All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku and you can learn more about them at another of my sites, Nuku Nuku Punch! But, to give you a very brief rundown of their personalities, Arisa is aggressive, hyperactive, not a deep thinker and loves blowing stuff up. Kyoko is more sane and reserved, has a keen sense of the absurdity of situations, and only blows stuff up when it's really necessary. I'm really using them to represent the two sides of my own reaction to Dilandau, the side that finds him absolutely gorgeous and the side that is a little creeped out by him.

Q. Why have there been no new fights since about April 2000?

A. I was travelling overseas - then I was working a lot - then my father broke our computer and I couldn't make updates - then I just didn't write any fights. I've been working on other stuff, that's all I can say.

Q. Where is the Battle Arena and what is it like?

A. I imagine the Arena to be a large stadium somewhere in Zaibach's capital city. It's just like every huge stadium you've ever been to (except for the audience, which tends to be composed of characters from Escaflowne and whatever show or movie Dilandau's opponent comes from). All fights are night events, hence the searchlights, glow-sticks, flaming braziers and the like which tend to turn up. Bathroom facilities are somewhat unreliable so go before you come. Or something. Fights take place in the main arena, on the stadium floor, where anything goes. No holds are barred but pinching is frowned upon.

Q. At what point in the Escaflowne continuity are these fights supposed to be happening?

A. Anyone who actually asked this question would be taking the whole thing way too seriously, but just for clarity's sake I will say that they have nothing to do with the continuity of events in the series or the movie. I've just taken the characters out of context and done weird stuff with 'em. It's fun.

Q. Why doesn't Dilandau win more?

A. I really don't know. Perhaps he's not eating right.

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