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This
interview was conducted at Café Fantasia in
Nerima, Tokyo, where I had arranged to meet Eimi.
She arrived a few minutes late, lugging a bag which
appeared to be heavy. In the text of the interview,
SN stands for Sarah-neko, E stands for Eimi, and
Chupa Chups lollipops stand for everything I hold
dear. (In my personal iconography,
anyway.)
SN:
Yoshikawa-san! Over here.
E:
Oh, Eimi-chan, please! Do you mind if I put my bag
under the table?
SN:
Not at all. I ordered tea for two; I hope that's
all right.
E:
It's fine. What did you want to discuss?
SN:
Well, I'm doing a series of interviews with people
who've had dealings with Android NK-1124 - say, are
you all right?
E:
I'm fine, I just had something in my
eye.
SN:
Uh, yeah. So, Eimi-chan, you obviously didn't get
off to too good a start with Nuku Nuku. Do you feel
that you're better friends now, after all you've
gone through?
E:
If you can be friends with someone who has pink
fluff for a brain, sure. I've gone off the idea of
killing her a bit.
SN:
Well, that's wonderful! How about your health? Have
you found a solution to your overheating
problem?
E:
Well, Kyusaku-san's been trying to help me with
that. He's made a lot of adjustments but so far
he's only been able to minimise the problem, not
get rid of it. He says he thinks I'd need a total
overhaul for that, and he hasn't got the parts or
the facilities.
SN:
You get on well with Kyusaku, don't you?
E:
Oh, yes! He was like a big brother to me when I was
a little girl. Well, a much bigger brother. This is
a picture of me, him and Granddad. He never minded
me hanging around while he was working, he always
answered my questions, he let me be his assistant
and fetch tools for him so I felt important. I
can't stand his wife but I like Kyusaku a
lot.
SN:
Do you not think it's possible that Akiko might
finance an overhaul for you? It'd be in her
interest to make you safer, surely.
E:
I don't want any favours from That Woman. She
called me a silly little girl.
SN:
Can I ask what's in the bag?
E:
A magazine-fed rocket launcher. Try not to kick
it.
SN:
What the hell's that for? I thought you said you
didn't want to kill Nuku Nuku any more!
E:
I don't. After dinner tonight Arisa and Kyoko and
me are going down to MHI's staff firing range for
some target practise.
SN:
With a rocket launcher.
E:
Yes.
SN:
Well, who am I to judge? What are your plans for
the future, Eimi-chan?
E:
Did none of the others tell you? We're all going
over to America for a week. Jerry Springer's going
to dedicate a whole one-hour special episode to us!
They said no weapons, though. So I'm really working
on my hair-pulling skills.
SN:
Wow, bummer. About the weapons, I mean. It looks
like you're on your way to fame and fortune! I
guess as one of the first functional androids, you
must feel a lot of responsibility to be a good
ambassador for your kind. A lot of people are
nervous about advances in artificial
intelligence.
E:
Tell me about it. Did you hear the fuss when that
computer beat Garry Kasparov at chess? I'd've
beaten him at chess and kicked his arse in the
carpark afterwards.
SN:
You would, too! Do you think the way androids and
robots have been portrayed in science fiction -
characters like R2-D2 and C3-PO in Star
Wars, Ash in Alien and Bishop in
Aliens, Data in Star Trek: TNG - will
be a help or a hindrance to you in making your way
in the world?
E:
Who knows? I don't think I need any help. Although
I do think Data's cute. It's a shame he's not
real.
SN:
Aha, but some people would say that you're not
real.
E:
Some people could get a rocket launcher up their
nose.
SN
(flinching): How do you do that with your
eyes?
E:
Do what?
SN:
Uh, never mind. Hey, isn't that Kyoko outside?
What's she doing climbing up the side of the
building?
E:
She's making gestures.
SN:
Think we'd better go see?
As
we left the café, I reflected that life was
never going to be dull around these people. I also
reflected that I'd forgotten to pay for the tea, so
I ran back to do that and missed seeing Eimi blow
up Kyusaku's Valentine's Day present, which had run
amuck... you see where honesty gets
you.
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